I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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