I'd wear matching sweaters with you
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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