Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize