Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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