she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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