How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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