I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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