You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
