You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
