Taylor Swift is so right about you.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
