So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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