She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
