i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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