I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I smell like Dick and happiness
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
