It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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