but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
