i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
