D3 body, D1 cock
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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