Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
