just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
