eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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