Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
