why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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