I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
