well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I'm always down for nudity.
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