do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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