its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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