I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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