My friends, they love my intelligence
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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