Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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