Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
