I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
