It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
