One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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