I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
