i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
