She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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