Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Randomize
