if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize