apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
