I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
