We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
