wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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