their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
