i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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