I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
