Im at strip club and am horny
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I am in a vortex of obligation.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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