I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
