D3 body, D1 cock
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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