How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
