Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
