she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
