Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize