I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
