She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
