I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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