I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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