The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
then he tried to convert me to islam
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
