I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
