Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
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