Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
