Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
