feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
PANTIES FOUND
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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