Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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